Navigating the Shadows

Joe Hyams was a Hollywood columnist and celebrity biographer. He worked with many famous celebrities from the early fifties on and was one of Master Parker's earliest kenpo students. In his 1979 book Zen in the Martial Arts he describes studying with many different martial arts Masters, and the lessons he was able to take away from his training and apply to life. He died in late 2008, and was remembered as a beloved author, family man, and friend.

In Zen in the Martial Arts, he describes an episode where his instructor taught him an important lesson about the nature and genesis of fear, and what we can do to overcome it.

Making a Friend of Fear
Page 111


"It was only a bare foot, but I was unable to keep it from landing someplace on my body. My breath was labored and my arms and legs felt like lead weights. Every time I moved, that foot seemed to find an opportunity to land with sufficient force to knock the breath out of me. If I were not careful, it might dislocate or even fracture my jaw. My opponent had hands, too, but it was his feet I feared.

When the match was over, I was completely exhausted. My mouth was dry, and I was perspiring profusely. Master Han, who had been watching the kumite, called to me. I went to him, bowed, and stood silently awaiting his comment.

"You cannot run away from fear in the dojang," he said. "In fact, it's a perfect place in which to learn to face fear. Most of the time we generate our own fears, and this is especially true when we confront an unfamiliar situation that shatters confidence. And this is what happened to you today."

Suddenly, without warning, his foot swept up from the floor toward my head. Without thinking my hands flew into a guard position and I took a huge step backwards and out of range.

"Don't move!" he commanded. "I'm not going to hit you."

Again his foot snapped up, stopping a whisker's breadth from the right side of my haw, then speedily reappearing at the left. I heard the snapping sound of his gi trousers as his foot grazed the top of my nose. I was trembling, but I had not moved.

"Good," he said. "Remain still and composed, secure in the fact that you are in no danger."

I did as ordered. For the next few moments I heard only the snapping of the gi as his foot whipped around my body, always stopping short of making direct contact.

"You must develop the confidence to handle fear," he said. "I will have a student practice kicking at you every day that you come in, with instructions that he is never to make contact. Until your fear of being kicked becomes familiar and you develop confidence, stand still and do not react. In time you will no longer be afraid. This I promise you."

He bowed to me, signifying the end of the lesson. Later, when I had changed into street clothes and was about to leave, Master Han beckoned for me to enter his office.

"I have a story to tell you," he said. "When I was a boy growing up in Korea I was terrified of the ferocious tigers that still live there. During the early stages of my martial arts training my master, who knew of my fear, told me that while meditating I should visualize myself battling a tiger. In the beginning, the tiger always defeated me. Then I began to go to the zoo in Seoul and study the tigers there, familiarizing myself with their habits and movements."

"In time, I realized that although the tiger was fearsome indeed, he did have weaknesses: he did not have complete mobility of his jaws, and he relied strongly on his hind legs for tearing at his opponent. I began to work out strategies for my imaginary bouts with the tiger, to find ways of exploiting his weaknesses. Soon I occasionally won a a skirmish, and my fear of tigers began to disappear."

Master Han smiled and gestured toward the walls of his office. "Now you see the walls here are covered with pictures of tigers. When I am alone, I study one of the pictures and imagine myself in conflict with the animal. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose. But I am no longer afraid because they are familiar to me. In the heat of combat I am calm, which is as it should be because I have discovered that fear is shadow, not substance."

It took me many weeks of constantly facing the kicks of Master Han's students before I realized that when I was afraid. I was usually frightening myself, and that my own fears were only one aspect of a situation which could just as well be viewed without trepidation. When I accepted the fact that I was frightening myself, I became less afraid."

Fear always and only comes from within. That doesn't mean that there aren't some things to fear! Fear is a healthy evolutionary instinct. It keeps us safe. But we can't allow it to prevent us from taking action. When we are afraid is when it is most important to think and act with clarity. Learn to make a friend of fear. Learn to experience it, and to embrace it, and to use it as motivation to move on. There is no shame in feeling fear. But remember the words of Keisuke Miyagi.

"Is ok lose to opponent. Must not lose to fear."

Drills -
Beginner: Practice striking the shields with a partner. When you are holding the shield, focus on feeling the incoming force of your partner's strikes. Focus on sensing their energy and intention, and embrace the feeling of incoming aggression. Identify something that you are afraid to do. Maybe it's taking a trip or trying a new experience or getting a new job.

Intermediate: Practice sparring with a partner. When they aggress with strikes stand strong and defend your position. When you feel your eyes closing and your face and shoulders turning away focus on keeping your eyes open and focused on the opponent. Research what would be necessary to overcome your fear. Do you need special training? A guide? Specific resources? Take steps.

Advanced: When engaged in combat in the dojo, practice until you are exhausted. Then begin training again with a fresh opponent. When he becomes exhausted, begin again with a new fresh opponent. Train safely, but continue in this fashion, defending yourself against stronger faster attackers as you grow weaker and slower. Learn to embrace the fear of being overcome, and to continue to find ways to fight regardless of the circumstances. Never give up. Never stop. Confront your fears. Change your life. What was once impossible is now just the last step in your journey. Look forward to your next challenge and confront it with confidence.

The Long and Difficult Path

In the book Martial Arts Teaching Tales of Power and Paradox, Pascal Fauliot collects myths, legends, and parables about masters of zen, tea ceremony, and the sword. He uses these stories to convey a series of lessons on confronting ourselves and the challenges of living the Way of martial arts.

At the beginning of Chapter 3, he describes for the reader the path of self improvement.

Confronting the Mountain

As long as you are incapable of
going beyond the mountain, it is
impossible to attain the Way

Wei Kuan

"Tradition tells us that following the Way is akin to scaling a steep mountain. The person who has chosen to undertake that ascent will select the slope he wishes to attempt and set off in search of a guide who can show him the path. These choices are deciding factors. If the slope is too steep, or the guide too inexperienced, the results can be disastrous. But nothing is guaranteed, even with the best possible guide. There are numerous obstacles ahead and many painful efforts will have to be undertaken. A great struggle that involves going one-on-one with the mountain is necessary. One's muscles are straining, one's fingers are tightly clinging to the rock. Each movement must be precise and measured. Nothing can be left to chance. One false step will lead to a long fall.

But what is the point of this challenge that does not let up for a second, poised halfway between the summit and the abyss, between life and death?

The person who dares the mountain knows, or at least something within him or her knows, that the great struggle takes place inside. The mountain is only a pretext. It permits a man or woman to come face-to-face with him, or herself, it provides one with an opportunity to go beyond oneself. It is by coming to grips with these kinds of difficulties that the student will develop the discipline, the will, and the energy necessary to his continued evolution. In reality every ordeal is a help in getting to the way. "If Heaven is about to entrust an important mission to a man, it begins by filling his heart with bitterness and by confusing his powers of perception and overturning his plans. It forces him to exert his bone and muscle. It forces him to endure hunger and all manner of sufferings. When the man emerges triumphantly over all these trials and tribulations, he is then capable of accomplishing what would have been impossible for him to do before." This quote from Mencius is a very precise answer to the question: "What is the true meaning of life?"

What is truly at stake in this inner battle? For the masters, the real obstacles that prevent the student from making any progress are those erected by his or her artificial personality. The ordinary individual, choking under a yoke of mental and physical habits, his vision of the world distorted by a screen of illusions, is an invalid cut off from the depths of his being, depths whose potential remains untouched. The necesary work to be done consists in exploding these physical and psychological blocks so that the individual's latent forces can blossom freely. The goal of budo, the way of combat, like any authentic path, is the regeneration of the individual. But this self-realization can only be attained through a merciless struggle against one's own defects, weaknesses, and illusions. Vanquishing one's inner obstacles requires the patience to be relentless in tracking them down and the courage to confront them when that search bears fruit. Pride, cowardice, impatience, and doubt, all fed by illusion, are so many dreadful traps in which a great many people have fallen. The path through them twists like a snake; it is long, difficult, and taxing. Not allowing oneself to become discouraged, persevering no matter what and in spite of oneself, is one of the keys to the Way."

The inner battle. It is the one we truly face. Self defense is a valuable skill to develop; humans are an intra-species predator. But when we step onto the training floor we do not face an enemy. There is no mugger, or murderer, or villian between us and our goal. We face only ourselves.

The battle against our own illusions, our fears and self imposed limitations, against the Six Invisible Enemies, is a long one. It will take all of your life to walk the path of self improvement. But each time the karateka steps foot inside the school he moves further down that path. Each decision we make to move forward, in karate, in life, embodies what Fauliot called, "the regeneration of the individual."

Drills -
Beginner: Set a goal to practice each of your techniques twice when you get up in the morning and twice before bed. Even if you are really tired. Even if you don't want to. If you forget, forgive yourself and try again next time. Identify something you are afraid to do.

Intermediate: Next time you're working out, keep count of how many pushups and situps you can do comfortably during your physical training. Then attempt to add two repetitions of each every time you train. If you get tired or fail to meet your new goals, take a break and return to the exercise later. Make it a point to do an extra set of each at the end of your workout. Make plans to confront your fears.

Advanced: Perform each of your forms from beginning to end. When you run out of forms to do, begin again with your earliest forms and run through the lists again and again. When you get too tired to continue, perform the forms each one more time. Lower yourself into your stances. Hold each position and breath deeply as you experience the fatigue and weariness of your body. Focus on completing the task. Overcome your anxieties and have new experiences.

12 Primary Love Needs

In our training center students study the physical requirements of becoming a warrior while simultaneously learning to harness the mental abilities of a scholar.  The ability to control both the physical and mental side on oneself shows true mastery and in order to master victory over any opponent, one must truly learn to "know thyself" first.

When several students commented on last month's theme, and asked us to share it, I thought it might be appropriate to share here.  Perhaps you'll find some use from this; perhaps with a spouse, a friend, a relative, or even a student of your own.  These lessons can work universally, however they are just guidelines.  They are primarily intended for loving, respectful relationships, and should always be used with common sense.  While these are generally guidelines for working with the opposite sex, some people may need the opposite of what you'd expect.  We all share some form of masculine and feminine qualities, however large or small.  This is the Yin and Yang of life.  The key is to seek first to understand the needs of one another and then you can begin unlocking the mystery of a synergetic relationship.   

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Men and women are often unaware that they have different emotional needs.  As a result, they do not instinctively know how to support each other.  Both typically give in a relationship, what they would want.  Each mistakenly assumes that the other has the same needs and desires.

12 Primary Love Needs

1.      She needs Caring- Show interest in her feelings.

He needs Trust- Trust in his abilities and his intentions.

2.      She- Understanding- Listen without judgment and with empathy.

He- Acceptance- Love him without trying to change him.

3.      She- Respect- Acknowledge her rights, wishes, and needs.

He- Appreciation- Acknowledge his efforts, behavior, and its value to you.

4.      She- Devotion- Give priority to supporting and fulfilling her.

He- Admiration- Admire him with wonder, delight, and appreciation.

5.      She- Validation- Validate her feelings and point of view.

He- Approval- Recognize the good reasons behind his actions.

6.      She- Reassurance- Let her know she is loved… continually.

He- Encouragement- Give him courage by expressing confidence in his abilities and character.

These ideas were adapted from “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.” By John Gray, Ph.D

A recommended read for learning to communicate better.

20 Years Later... A Legacy... Your Legacy.

“I received a call from Ed Parker Jr. at 6am the morning after his father had his fatal heart attack. He said “I’m calling my father ‘s friends to let them know he passed away..."  (Lee Wedlake, Black Belt magazine)

20 years ago today, Ed Parker, the father of American martial arts and a pioneer of modern martial arts practice and principals would teach no more.  While today marks the 20th anniversary of our Grandmaster's death, his legacy continues to be carried on through the 21st century.  There are schools of American Kenpo on every continent.  His teachings have become embedded in over a thousand different styles.  Movie fight scenes often portray his work in films such as Blade, Borne Identity, and the original Pink Panther series (not to mention countless martial arts movies).  The lessons he left many of us with where not always about kicking and punching though, they also included philosophies and ideals for living.  Students of his have gone on to promote the physical, mental, and martial lessons that he taught while also working to create better community amongst mankind. 

It is important to note however, that while much has been done to promote his art, it is not his art.  Much like Bruce Lee's concept of martial arts as the art of expressing the human body, it is not his any more than it is mine, nor yours.  It is what it is, it is our own.  Your body, your mind, your character and spirit are your own, it is up to you to craft it.  If you do not, someone else will do it for you.  It is not hard nor is it easy.  It just is.  You are what you eat, you become what you focus on most, you are an average of the 5 people you hang out with most often; these are all ancient words of wisdom.  What work of art are you crafting?

We must take it upon ourselves to honor a man who has given so much of himself to the world and ultimately you, our students, and the best way we can do that is to leave a spectacular legacy of our own.  The best way to lead is by example.  You would not have your Kenpo if I had not chosen to pass it on to you.  I would not have it if it weren't for my many teachers and Mr. Parker.  Mr. Parker would have missed his same chance to make his mark if it weren't for Mr. Chow and his countless other teachers.  So on and so on it goes, for centuries.  It is up to each of us to chose a path and to pass on what we find best in ourselves and to continually work to better what we find worse.  Some will do this by passing on their Kenpo, some, through living by example, and some, will forget the lesson all together.  Become empowered.  Create the life you want.  Ask yourself what you want out of life and fight for it, work for it, relish the chance to take living into your own hands as our Great Grandmaster Edmund Kealoha Parker did.  I invite you all, students and non students alike, challenge yourselves to be your best and under no circumstances should you ever give up.  We may fall down nine times, but we'll always get up ten.

As the New Year approaches, as we strive to get through a recession, and as you consider the life you wish to craft, consider one of my favorite quotes:

"You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. Your mind gets bored and therefore tired of doing nothing. Get interested in something! Get absolutely enthralled in something! Get out of yourself! Be somebody! Do something. The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have."

Norman Vincent Peale

Last living disciple of Jigoro Kano still teaches three days a week at age 97.

Here is an article about an amazing woman who has done many things with her life and in an effort to help women find their place in the martial arts.


(Excerpts taken from http://www.flyingcarp.net/2009/04/be-strong/ and wikipedia.)

"In a world dominated by men, a tiny 97 year-old living legend is the highest ranking woman in judo history. She is also the last living disciple of Jigoro Kano, judo’s founder." (Kano is also known to be the originator of the modern belt ranking system).

"In 1934 Keiko Fukuda was preparing for marriage, like most young women in Japan. Then she met Jigoro Kano and radically altered her life path. She gave up marriage, family, and her home-land to pursue her life destiny.  In 1966 she immigrated to the U.S., a single woman with an opportunity to make a living with her vocation, judo. Her move to the U.S. caught light of rank injustice within the Japanese judo system. With the help of American women’s rights activist, judo students, she began her struggle up the male dominant ladder of judo."

"Fukuda was born on April 12, 1913, in Tokyo, Japan.  As a youth, she learned the arts of calligraphy, flower arrangement, and the tea ceremony; typical pursuits for a woman in Japan at that time.  Fukuda's grandfather, Fukuda Hachinosuke, had been a samurai and master of Tenjin Shinyō-ryū jujutsu, and he had taught that art to Kanō Jigorō, founder of judo and head of the Kodokan.  Kanō had taught female students as early as 1893 (Sueko Ashiya).  He personally invited the young Fukuda to study judo—an unusual gesture for that time—as a mark of respect for her grandfather.  She began training in judo in 1935, as one of only 24 women training at the Kodokan.

Despite her conventional upbringing, Fukuda felt close to judo through memories of her grandfather, and one day went with her mother to watch a judo training session.  A few months later, she decided to begin training for herself.  Her mother and brother supported this decision, but her uncle was opposed to the idea.  Her mother and brother had thought that Fukuda would eventually marry one of the judo practitioners, but she ended up never marrying, instead becoming a judo expert herself."